Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
