i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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