finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
