The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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