Having a random hookup so left but love u
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
