I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
