i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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