so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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