Dual....:-)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
