No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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