I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
