i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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