Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
