Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
