I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
