Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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