Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
