Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize