Just fell off a train. Bad.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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