Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
