Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize