he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
