I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
organizing the empties. That sober.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
