I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
