its not stalking. its research.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
