Just cropdusted the office
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
