True but thats because hes a fetus.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
