man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
