I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
