Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
