It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
