Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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