conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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