Someone shit on the floor
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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