i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
