Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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