Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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