I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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