Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what day is it and did you see me today?
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I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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