Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do vagina's smell?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
