She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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