like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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