9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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