U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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