I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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