Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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