oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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