If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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