You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
