i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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