I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
