I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
