what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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