New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
PANTIES FOUND
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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