my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dear god my vagina.
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