There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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