i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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