some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
