Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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